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Fear for Tomorrow
Oh how wretched is my soul
such
termoil, such pain
have mercy on me....
What hideous thoughts
creeping into this mind
confusion leads to madness
followed
by the PIT
oh the depth and darkness
of that PIT
have mercy on
me....
Bitterness that I harbor
evil prevails
hatred of what my life
used to be
rage that boils
into
a volcanic eruption
have mercy on me...
Ghostly and ghoulish images
never to forget
revenge, 'tis so sweet
yes,
revenge
pour out those years
of pent up anger
have mercy on me...
Grateful
that today I have control
fear
then emerges
for what tomorrow holds
have mercy on me...
gsj
Darkness
Darkness around me, on all sides
so overwhelming,
I cannot breathe
stillness...evil lurks here
it wants to steal my soul
it wants to end my existance
Such pain
is so difficult to bare
so unfair, UNFAIR!
these images appear in my head
images of sharp steel
must end this
pain
UNFAIR, I SCREAM!
why is MY life this way?
I did not ask for or want this
but here it is, within me,
part of me
forever lurking in my shadows
Evil, the best word I can use
no good can come of this
only pain,
only despair, only
lonliness
everyone I love leaves me
they do not, cannot understand
Emptiness, why am I
here?
why do I exist?
why am I so ill?
no cure....
no hope....
Help me, please
help me to get out of
this hole
to get me out from under this rock
help me to see light
Darkness....
gsj
Dreams
They are always there
I know they are there
my
eyes are closed
yet I still see
I don't want to look
it is too frightening
I try to turn away
this is agony
There
she is, taunting me
evil across her face
a smile of demented satisfaction
she has hurt me, yet again
There
he is, watching
knowing he has done his part
he lets her finish me off
no conscience, no remorse
How
does such evil prevail
how do they sleep at night
is this their ultimate goal in life
to have pleasure in causing
pain
These are the parents
that God has given to me
I cannot see the reason
I cannot see the end
Only God can see
how
this tragedy is played out
my faith seems so weak
where must I go from here
Now, I must rest
allow my heart
to heal
please take them from my mind
take these images, I pray
gsj
7/13/04
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